Where have I been?

So. Where was I? Why did I post a number of posts about the election and video game reviews and then delete them? Why does it sting when you pee?

Ok ok, you win, I'll tell you.

1. Where I Was: I've been doing extensive research in the dating field, basically a great experiment on behaving like a human being with decency and self respect. The results later. Also, a tree fell on my house in December and took out my roof (along with my internet) for a substantial amount of time.

2. The Lost Posts: I deleted all my posts between now and November. Why? I write for a local comedy newspaper, and I was just posting my completed stories every two weeks instead of thinking up original content for the site. Articles are assigned, which is why they had to do with Ron Paul and Super Mario instead of sex and relationships and general excess. I felt this was too much of a departure and wasn't congruant with the orginal idea behind this blog, so I took them down. Only smut from here on out, I promise.

3. Stinging Urine: You gots a UTI, brotha, hit tha docta.

So back to the nitty gritty. What crazy buckets of syrup have I gotten myself into over the last few months?

Not. Too. Many.

So I've been trying this thing - treating women with dignity and behaving in the interest of their needs. It feels unnatural to me now, despite the fact that I did that for years longer than I've focused on my needs exclusively. I've been trying to fake it til I make it, but I don't know if it's working out.

I think women can tell, especially when I started going on dates again. Dinner, dancing, the whole shabang. You know, opening doors, spending money, making the big move, etc. Suddenly I was no longer in control, I was the one holding the resume, and that's not my comfort zone. Needless to say this resulted in a lot of evenings that got nowhere (with night ending gems like girl:"This is awkward.." and me:"My god, you taste awful."

I'm still not convinced on trying to be a gentleman, but I am getting the hang of it again. I've been seeing a girl for a few weeks now. She's gorgeous and she seems to dig nice John, or else she wouldn't still be hanging around. The thing is I think deep down she's a lot like me. Passion and naughty whatever that's brewing just below a calm exterior. Can we both fake our way into a loving relationship? Can we each set aside our own self interest long enough to find interest in each other? Yeah ok, probably not, but at least the sex is good. Data collection continues - many tales of the last quarter to come.